(( the last cigarette ))
16 October 08 - 10:28
The last cigarette
I’m sorry to say I am not giving up
No!
I am freeing myself from this prison I forced myself into all those years ago
True I attempted to quit before
And failed miserably
So why I am sure you are asking why is this time going to be any different
He will just start again when he’s with his friends that smoke
Haha you critics
Last time I ‘quit’ smoking was for a girlfriend because she wanted me to
Is that really a good excuse to stop?
No because you are not doing it for yourself you get no gain from it in your mind oh course you get a gain from it health, money etc but your mind that person is denying you the freedom you feel you need which is smoking and in actual fact I started again because I finished with this girlfriend, to spite her haha so who suffered from this
Certainly not her I have suffered a lot
Let me tell you what the turning point was that made me decide to free myself from my self imposed prison
I joined a football team
Yes I know its funny Sam joining a football team almost as funny as my dad joining the church choir
But not quite
Yes I decided to join a football team
I went up to practice with them
I think I lasted about 15 minutes
My chest was in excruciating pain I could hardly breathe and very head felt like it was going to explode, my muscles could have lasted hours but my head and chest were ready to explode it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. Now it wasn’t just the pain that made me decide to quit oh no
It was the embarrassment
The embarrassment in front of these Malawians who regard English football teams as there idols and heres this white man who’s ran around for about 15 mins and looks like he is going to keel over and die
I wanted to from sheer embarrassment
Don’t get me wrong I can play football and actually I surprised myself and I was quite good better than I thought but what good is that if you can only last 5 mins on the pitch?
No good at all
I didn’t realize I was so bad it scared me I have to say
So what did I do?
I sat down and started reading
READING you might ask
Reading what
Well a good parent of one of my scouts in England once gave me a book about stopping smoking, I’ll be honest I was more than a little skeptical about this working
Well I always enjoy being proved wrong
Who would have thought a book would work
Well it did
Now in the morning I run up the mountain yes up the mountain just to get to that point of excruciating pain to remind me what my so called little casual over indulgence has done to me, my so called friend has created in my lungs
It may sound silly but it works it reminds me of how embarrassed I was as I slunk off the pitch to try and calm my breathing one of the worst feelings in the world but I am determined to stop and I will
To be controlled by these little sticks of cancer was the worst mistake I made in life but you know what they say mistakes are there to teach you a lesson
Well
I have one thing to say
Lesson learnt
Yes I know people have been saying this for years but I have one little favor to ask from you all
Please don’t say I told you so
It was something I had to do myself and I found my wake up call at least I found it so young
So I don’t want any messages saying I told you so
But I will succeed
I know I will
I can feel it
I have already succeeded I have stopped haven’t I?
Okay well that’s all I have to say
Don’t wish me luck I don’t need it
Trust me I don’t want to experience what I experienced at the pitch again
ever
Awwh Sammy :]
[hugs]
I’ve quit too.
Go us!
Hotmail me sometimes?
I miss you..
...x
Tee. - 17 10 08 - 00:10
Hey Sam
Well done from all of us….one day I will stop again lol no honest I will
Take care
Hugs
x x
Debs () - 26 10 08 - 14:54
